Random Thoughts – The Problem with Polyamory

I
Modern dating apps and sites have given us data to quantify differences in mate choice between men and women. Specifically, female hypergamy, that is the preference of women to date the highest status men, can now be observed in hard data. It turns out that average man is really not attractive to the average women. Instead 80% of the women chase after 20% of the men. This is in itself worrisome if one regards falling birth rates and disenfranchised men as a problem.

II
It is also the reason why I think polyamory would be a very bad social norm. Polyamory is the habit or norm of having multiple partners at the same time. Its proponents argue that it would solve the disenfranchised men’s problem, because they could still become secondary or tertiary partners. Why women would want a secondary or tertiary partner that is not attractive to them is anybodies guess. Instead polyamory solves the female conundrum: Suddenly the attractive 20% of the men can be available to 80% of the women.

III
In the end polyamory makes the mating market more efficient. Just like dating apps or dating sites. Unfortunately, making the mating market more efficient just means that the messed up female preferences make life miserable for both men and women.